As I’ve grown older—and hopefully wiser, thanks to years of living and learning—young people often ask me: What have you learned?

And while I’m still learning every day, I’d like to share a story from a recent experience. It’s something that’s made me think deeply—and maybe it will give you something to reflect on too.

Lately, I’ve been working on something personal. I’ve had to really shift my mindset. And that hasn’t been easy.

I come from a difficult family background. Some of it was just a string of unfortunate events… and some of it was more complicated than that. But when I got married, I was so hopeful. I thought, “Finally—I get to be part of a normal family.”

And as we all know… what does “normal” even mean?

Still, I was optimistic. His family wasn’t unkind—they just kept their distance. And for me, that was tough. I longed for connection. And to be honest, I think my children missed out, too.

I often found myself grieving the opportunities that never came. The shared holidays that didn’t happen. The closeness that was never built. It hurt.

Just this week, one of Calvin’s aunts passed away. We’re attending her service tonight.

And I’ll be honest—I was surprised at my own reaction. I didn’t feel resentment exactly, but there was a deep sadness. I’ve probably seen this woman a dozen times in my life. She never came to my home, and I was never invited into hers—even though we lived nearby. I invited her, often. But the connection just never formed.

Another missed opportunity.

I realized I didn’t even have a memory of her that felt personal. And I had to stop and ask myself—What will I carry with me when I walk into that room tonight?

Then, I remembered something—a story I’d heard, in little pieces, over the years. When my husband was about three years old, he somehow fell into a pool of water. No one noticed—except for his aunt. She realized he was missing, and she saved him.

I never got the full details—how serious it was, whether someone else might have noticed eventually—but this much I know: She saw he was missing, and she jumped in. She pulled him out. She saved his life.

And that’s what I’m going to remember tonight. That act of awareness. That act of love.

So if you’re someone starting a family, or someone who wants to grow closer to yours—do it. Reach out. Take the risk. Because the opportunities to connect—they don’t come with guarantees. And once they’re gone, they’re often gone for good.

Yes, it’s scary to be vulnerable. Yes, it’s hard to get close. But it’s worth it.

Tell someone you love them—today. Don’t be too busy. Don’t wait for the “perfect time.”

Live in person. It matters. It really, really matters.